The past two years have brought a lot of change in my life. I allowed this blog to languish because I let so many things get in the way. I have to learn that life as it is does not have to get in the way of my self-expression. In the past few years I’ve learned that there are many out there who rely on my sane self for guidance and that my words can inform, help and heal. So I am choosing to reconnect with my writing and ‘recommiting’ to my blog. What’s gotten in the way? Well let’s see a separation from my husband, a feeble attempt to reconcile and second separation and my eventual move from Brooklyn to New Haven (not a good look for me), two procedures due to my unmanageable uterine fibroids, severe anemia and quitting a job that was making me sick.

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Even in this economy I left a job where showing up meant biting my tongue every day and witnessing harassing behavior by the executive director that occurred on a daily basis. I watched co-workers miserable and feeling stuck in their jobs. The truth is no one is stuck. They chose to stay because they are acting like battered women afraid to leave an abusive husband. I gained weight and hair was falling out. On top of everything I was dealing with I knew I decided I had to take care of me.

I am glad to say with patience my hair has grown back but the some of the weight remains. My husband and I are working on our relationship in a more meaningful way now. I think I had this image of marriage and have learned to accept my marriage the way it is right now. It ain’t perfect. And as I’ve watched a dear friend divorce this year I can sit back and appreciate what I have been able to do in my own way.

I have a great life filled with friends and family who adore me, I’m funny, I am smart and in spite of it all I do have it all because having it all has been defined by these things.

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